I sometimes ask myself, Who would notice if I died? But this question begets another: Who would notice if I lived? I don’t know which is more frightening.

I wish that I could feel for you An inspiration, idol too I could admire as would be your due I wish that in my heart you’d see The space I left for you Or someone else more talented than me But I’m not patient Sing with me, a liar’s song A virtual deception from a Girl who keeps her envy like a friend Sing to keep the pain away And sing because the gnawing numbness Needs a song A song to keep it fed You’re not alone, you’re not afraid These affirmations can’t erase The unrequested, unrequited feeling You’re not alone, you’re not afraid Unrelenting irony That if I were the only one I’d feel better, oh Sing with me, a liar’s song A virtual deception from a Girl who keeps her envy like a friend Sing to keep the blame away And sing because they won’t forgive you Sing for those who never knew your name Who never knew your name Oh, oh (Oh, oh) Jealousy always defined me (Jealousy will not define me) Sing with me, a liar’s song (Oh, oh) A virtual deception from a (Oh, oh) Girl who keeps her envy like a friend (Girl, you keep your) Sing to find the fame that they (Envy right there in your heart) Had always said will never find you (Use it to drive you forward) Sing for those you couldn’t help but blame (Drive ever forward) Who never knew your name (Never knew your true name)

Red birdsong The mist over the mountains blue and gray and grand Green valley The black smoke rolling in under the trees that stand The watchful Dying protectors of the deep and old A tower Sprouts in defiance, steel and new and bold This is home Where guilty memories birth monuments of hated pride Home we made With charred trees and hills we callously razed, stained the skies In autumn A mocking contrast unveils among the leaves And winter Envelops the town into the earth’s embrace This is home Where guilty memories birth monuments of hated pride Home we made With charred trees and hills we callously razed, stained the skies Seed to stone, you burn to grow Piping oil, fuel your conquest Fire blooming even in the snow Far past forgiveness We won’t have to wait to bear witness And we’ll reap what we sow This is home Where guilty memories birth monuments of hated pride Home we made With charred trees and hills we callously razed, stained the skies

We're sizing you up We're stripping you down Make sure you know not just anybody can wear the crown Sizing you up Breaking you down To the bone, it’s a cold, hard job we have Do you know yourself? Is that even you? You think you can look in the mirror and know, Decide for yourself It’s not worth it at all I’ll prove it if you would just look at the charts on my wall Cause it’s history What a tragedy That people like you walk alone, all alone It’s not up to you It’s not up to me You’ll see when you walk out in that dress, their hostility We're sizing you up We're stripping you down Make sure you know not just anybody can wear the crown Sizing you up Breaking you down To the bone, it’s a cold, hard job we have Tell me what these shapes mean Explain your artistic career I know you’re a student, but bear with me I’m being perfectly clear This is not like that You’re a little fat Harry and I will need to consult in the back We're sizing you up We're stripping you down Make sure you know not just anybody can wear the crown Sizing you up Breaking you down To the bone, it’s a cold, hard job we have (Consultation x8) We're sizing you up We're stripping you down Make sure you know not just anybody can wear the crown Sizing you up Breaking you down To the bone, it’s a cold, hard job we have (Consultation x8)

Is there something wrong with me? It’s hard to speak to you I swear I mean you no harm But what if harm is what you think I’ll do? So I fall, and I scrape, and I drag along the ground And I reel, and I stand, and I know I’m standing proud Put your hands, in the air, cause tonight we’re coming out, and No damn hypocrites are gonna stop us screaming loud, yeah What do you want from me? I can’t see; I can’t hear What I’m supposed to do You swear that you don’t hate me I’m doing fine; just breathe Sing, sing, you outcasts and heathens Someone is listening Sing, sing, and beckon them forth Your desires, glistening Is this what you wished for? Sing, sing, you outcasts and heathens Someone is listening I find myself alone again Exactly where I was The questions from the start of this Are where I’ve ended up You fall, we see you We can hear you loud and clear Your demands, your wishes Are exactly why we’re here Sing, sing, you outcasts and heathens Someone is listening Sing, sing, and beckon them forth Your desires, glistening Is this what you wished for?

Languid through traffic, I crave to be seen as I am Yet I fear the guests will publicize my breakdown Start a theater in this cruel town Why are you, why are you, why are you here? Come to torment me, to mock those who feel Why are you, why are you, why are you here? Come to berate me; my pain is not real Racing through traffic, my sights are set on you I don’t want the end to be quite so indignant But the call is quite insistent I don’t want to be famous I just need to be known Even if it’s for something minor I just want to be remembered Silent in traffic, I mourn what was lost of me In their minds, I hear a litany of failures At my wake they’ll ride as sailors

Having received some unfortunate news, Here is a list of things I would like to do I want to disappear into the woods Die of exposure, with tears freezing on my cheeks Crows will eat my eyes and coyotes, my guts My body will wither and rot In a few months a hiker will find me Mangled and broken and bare Trodden in mud, a mystery solved Though no one cared to look for me Picturesque, perfectly Positioned for all the world to see and they’ll gasp And look away, but secretly they are Mesmerized, mesmerized I will be the perfect scene that will garner Attention and well wishes and entertainers Milking this tragedy like voyeurs Mesmerized, mesmerized Oh, how tragic, they’ll say But will any examine the root of the problem The circumstances which led me to this place Once come and once gone, I’ll grace their TV screens Thoughts and prayers, but nary a word Of the capitalistic, sadistic conditions That killed me and left me for dead I want an end, a peaceful end But I don’t want death, no, I don’t want death I want the mystique, the posthumous adoration I want to direct the attention to places Where it’s dearly needed, completing The frightening mission That needs no more martyrs but begs nonetheless Picturesque, perfectly Positioned to highlight the problems in place Society ignores to support the stores Feeding the riches upon Christmas day I will never be the scene that garners Attention and well wishes and entertainers Milking this tragedy like voyeurs Mesmerized, mesmerized I wish for them to be mesmerized, mesmerized

Who would have thought, at the start of this That survivors would want no more part of this That the world of the living would feel so much like death Who would have thought that the rest of us Would hurt so to hear they’re the rest of us Who would have thought that the strong would feel so weak? Now my appetite’s been piqued But the peaks all feel so long ago And the valleys constant, filling with tears This song is my attempt to climb An epitaph scribbled in rhyme Will it be worth it in the end? Will the scars begin to mend? How many will be left who still remember me? ‘Cause the world never ends Each extinction ushers in an untold era But it doesn’t feel like our time Even if it feels like mine Revolving, returning The world keeps on turning And I hope that from our pain you’ll keep on learning And the flame that drives you forward keeps on burning Who would have thought that I’d still be here? Who would have thought that the end was never near? I, for one, never thought that I’d make it this far Dreams and idle fantasies Are pleasant while they last But I feel I’m never making the most of them Yet a dream has never hurt this much Our hopes become a shaky crutch And even before, there were pangs of it I want to feel I’ve made a difference Fortune gleaming in the distance But I’m tired of the grind Before 40 hours I close my eyes And shut out the world as long as I can ‘Cause the world never ends Each extinction ushers in an untold era But it doesn’t feel like our time Even if it feels like mine Revolving, returning The world keeps on turning And I hope that from our pain you’ll keep on learning And the flame that drives you forward keeps on burning Edibles and MMOs Only do so much to dull the ache I’m sober now, and the fog isn’t lifting A dead-end job And I’m dead a cog Rusting with the rest of the gears that weren’t shifting ‘Cause the world never ends Each extinction ushers in an untold era But it doesn’t feel like our time Even if it feels like mine Revolving, returning The world keeps on turning And I hope that from our pain you’ll keep on learning And the flame that drives you forward keeps on burning ‘Cause the world never ends No, the world never ends On our story, a new page will turn

Once, I left a note on my computer desktop that said If I ever die Try to sell my paintings Unless you are too attached to them But if I’m not famous by then And you’re worried they won’t fetch a good price Make up an urban legend about me So that I’m at least talked about in certain spheres of the internet If I go mysteriously missing I hope to leave behind a trail of clues Leading to some obscure treasure, remembered Only by me and by you You, the one who followed the trail Not that it will be relevant If you are hearing this, because Then my desire will have been laid bare. I don’t mean to be so grim I know I must sound like a mess I do think I’ll be okay, someday, in some reality And I hope you got some enjoyment out of this experience And maybe listen to it some more Where do we go from here? Can bad poetry save my career? I can trim a plant, and I can feed the cats But anything outside that is beyond my grasp Would a love song have fixed it? Can positive energy keep me alive? They don’t need to know the answer That I find between your thighs We have each other, and that’s enough Forever with you doesn’t sound so rough A bond that transcends life, I see in your eyes I’ll eke out my existence in this hostile world If work is made for humans, then soon I’ll be for the birds Hot summer rain in anger leaves me cold on winter’s night A plight that my all-seeing eyes have left me stranded, tantalized An unbroken, unfeeling Unending, pain-seeking Sun-bleaching, bone-creaking Whispering burden of beasts seeking Blood-craving, tear-staining Journey of love and tragedy that we’ve woken up Into the eye of the storm, in the heat of the sun In the light of the moon, in the blood on my arm In the look in your eyes, in the call that drags on In the silence of our disappearance from each other’s lives I hope you find a purpose I hope I’m more than not worthless