Once, I left a note on my computer desktop that said
If I ever die
Try to sell my paintings
Unless you are too attached to them
But if I’m not famous by then
And you’re worried they won’t fetch a good price
Make up an urban legend about me
So that I’m at least talked about in certain spheres of the internet

If I go mysteriously missing
I hope to leave behind a trail of clues
Leading to some obscure treasure, remembered
Only by me and by you
You, the one who followed the trail
Not that it will be relevant
If you are hearing this, because
Then my desire will have been laid bare.

I don’t mean to be so grim
I know I must sound like a mess
I do think I’ll be okay, someday, in some reality
And I hope you got some enjoyment out of this experience
And maybe listen to it some more

Where do we go from here?
Can bad poetry save my career?
I can trim a plant, and I can feed the cats
But anything outside that is beyond my grasp

Would a love song have fixed it?
Can positive energy keep me alive?
They don’t need to know the answer
That I find between your thighs
We have each other, and that’s enough
Forever with you doesn’t sound so rough
A bond that transcends life, I see in your eyes

I’ll eke out my existence in this hostile world
If work is made for humans, then soon I’ll be for the birds
Hot summer rain in anger leaves me cold on winter’s night
A plight that my all-seeing eyes have left me stranded, tantalized
An unbroken, unfeeling
Unending, pain-seeking
Sun-bleaching, bone-creaking
Whispering burden of beasts seeking
Blood-craving, tear-staining
Journey of love and tragedy that we’ve woken up
Into the eye of the storm, in the heat of the sun
In the light of the moon, in the blood on my arm
In the look in your eyes, in the call that drags on
In the silence of our disappearance from each other’s lives
I hope you find a purpose
I hope I’m more than not worthless